The name of a television show 7th Heaven. After Rimmer reminds him, he admits he has "a blind spot for sevens".
My parents were devotees of O-Show who in those days was called the Bhagwan Bhakteeshand we lived in a collective called the Community for Expanded Expansion. Among other things, this meant that I was forced to share the intimate details of my life with stoner parents and ten housemates, plus endure the constant freak parade that was always marching in and out of our geodesic dome.
My earliest known memories are of a couple who came to visit us when I was three-years-old. Paravati and Ajna had actually lived in O-Shows ashram in Kansas, which made them even more confusing to me than my parents. My dad told me that even though she was a womyn, Paravati was the man of the family a fact which seemed to be 7 eleven business plan pictures by her long tuffs of facial hairbut nobody in the dome talked about it in front of her, because Paravati had more power than all of our juicers and vita mixes combined.
One afternoon while my mom was breast feeding me, Paravati entered the room and ordered my mother to take her breast out of my mouth. This was especially hard when I reached kindergarten and got into fights over the flesh-eating habits of my classmates.
Disgusted by the way they scarfed cheeseburgers and bologna sandwiches, I thought they were all shamefully un-evolved, and told them so every chance I could. My penchant for evangelizing grew with my verbal skills, and halfway through my second grade year, just days after I brought in bootleg pictures of a slaughter house for show and tell, the principal invited my parents to his office to discuss my "behavior".
The next morning, I began dome studying. They demanded to dome school too, and after an all night meeting on the advantages and disadvantages of studying in square buildings, Mom became their teacher too.
These were high times. She taught us to forget most of what we learned in our old school, because she said history was written by a bunch of misogynist white men. In its place, she had us study the lost civilizations of Atlantis and Lemuria. We learned how to worship the goddess by lighting yoni candles and how to grow flowers by talking to plant spirits.
We learned the twelve signs of the zodiac and memorized the significance of trines, squares and nodes. While other kids our age were sweating over geometry and trigonometry, we were watching Drunvalo Melchizedek videos and making backyard tetrahedrons.
By the time I was seventeen, I was a whiz at all things sublime. I had read all of Carlos Castaneda books three times and had visited two crop circles in person. I could recite the thirteen moon cycles of the Mayan calendar and spin every chakra.
I channeled Serapis Bay at will, sometimes even Metatron. I meditated twice a day and saw angels hanging around the I even made a tachyon energy conductor that I through mail order.
But my true passion was numerology, especially the number seven. Ever since I was able to talk I could remember local phone numbers, which made perfect sense because they are seven numbers not counting the area code. Honored to be chosen for this lofty service, I underwent an astral initiation, whereby over the course of two weeks I was subliminally instructed in archangelic binary koans.
As a numeric vehicle for God, I learned to humble myself before every formula and calculation, and at the end of my training, I received a gilded sliderule holograph to hang above my third eye. I went into practice as soon as I pestered my mom into kicking me out of dome school.
Changing my name to Songbird an eight numerologically, which was just one number above my magic seven and incorporating my affinity for phone numbers, I developed a highly refined niche in the realm of Seven Digit Phone Number Creator Gods.
Knowing I was blessed, I accepted my special status and began telling the world that phone companies had been divinely inspired to adopt 7-diget phone numbers in order to encode secret stellar messages with specific numeric frequencies of life purpose blueprints.
In my first year of business, I mainly did readings for our community and some of the girls at the local high school. I got my big break when Star Essence, the editor of Lightworker Today called me up for a reading all readings were done over the phone to facilitate psychic rendering.
I still remember her number; it waswhich was a very powerful number.
Just looking at the prefix alone, 8 plus 4 equals 12 which is divisible by 3, which can be multiplied by 4, and 4 times the remaining two numbers equals 8, again just one above 7—an amazing and fortuitous combination in numeric feng shui.
But, when I told her this, she burst into tears and said her magazine was failing despite the fact that the Michael entity promised her that she was a Seventh Level Old Soul who would become a mouthpiece for the New Age.
I had never made a mistake like this before, and for a moment I feared the end of my numeric career. Then the Great Number telepathically suggested that I ask her what font she used for her numbers—which was how I discovered she listed her number as THE-BULB, thus diluting its numeric potency with alphabetic representation.
Needless to say, this simple, twenty-minute reading propelled me to national fame. Within six months, I was on the cover of Lightworker Today and by the Harmonic Convergence was manifesting vast amounts of abundance. I hired one person, then another and another and another until I had seven employees; then the Great Number said my business was ready for franchise.
So to make sure nobody stole my ideas, I copyrighted my divine training techniques and opened the 7 Phone Retreat Center and School in Mill Valley, California. For the next couple of years my sevens were rapidly gaining zeros. I attended fourth and fifth-dimensional embodied empowerment workshops.
I gave up newspapers and television, read the Ra material, listened only to Seth and Ramatha tapes, and for a while, I truly believed I was going to ascend at any moment.Find the latest business news on Wall Street, jobs and the economy, the housing market, personal finance and money investments and much more on ABC News.
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